Be forwarned: There will be some completely inappropriate language all up in this blog this evening. I’d apologize for it, but it’s really not my fault. I wish I didn’t have to use words like twat and vagina when I refer to my friend Glen’s new tattoo. I wish I didn’t have to say phrases like “blue harry bush” when I talk about the resemblance of the monster to a  giant furry vagina. And I’m sure my friend Glen wishes that I didn’t have to say words like that either. Now, I’m not sure if our friendship will last very long if I continue to make these jokes about something that he’s permanently put on his body. And I’m not sure it will last when the denial runs its course and he realizes that he has inadvertently let someone carve a black whole vagine into his arm.

What might look like a monster nose at first glance, is actually, factually, a gaping vagina on his arm. And what may seem like a blog post that’s completely about making fun of your friends and their choice of tattoos, is actually about an amazing and talented artist that you should probably know about.

Say wha? It’s a twist! Yeah, your resident artsy student has some tricks up her sleeve. When I asked Glen if I could use him as my muse for this post, he rolled his eyes and told me to go to town. I asked him how he ended up getting this creature beast tattoo, and when he started off by saying something about Twitter, I almost lost it. I mean, you can’t make this kind of stuff up. But then he elaborated a little bit and told me all about this artist Skinner, and I’m really glad he did. Here’s some of his stuff:

You can check out some more where that came from. Now that I know where the inspiration for the tattoo came from, I feel like I should give a little more reverence to it in all of it’s Twitter, twatty, tattooness. Either that, or I’ll keep saying stuff like that.

What do you think? Does the nose of the monster look like female genitalia to you?

It was the first time I’d ever been on a trail in the Rockies, and it was a little more difficult than what I was used to in the Ozarks, but it was utterly rewarding. There were a lot of firsts on that small mountain. It was the first time that I grabbed the massive rocks with my hands and hoisted myself up the boulders. It was the first time that I made it to the top of something that high. As a matter of fact, I didn’t realize I had a fear of heights until I was on a ledge overlooking Colorado. I suppose there’s no better time to conquer your fears then at the same moment you discover them. I learned a lot from others on the trail in that three hours. I learned about climbing, about professional roller derby, about Colorado, about law school, and about dog training.

I know what you’re thinking… What does this have to do with art? Stay with me folks. We’ll get there. I can’t tell you what a gratifying experience it was to make it all the way to where the trail ended. I can’t describe what it was like to climb up past where the trail ended into an alcove in the first Flatiron. But I can tell you that it was an incredible experience that taught me a lot, and seemed to put everything in perspective.

When we got to the bottom of the trail, we decided to have a look at the historical information on the boards, something that we quickly overlooked in our excitement to get started. The board displayed a picture of women in the “olden days” climbing onto the same rock that we just travelled up. As you can see, they’re all wearing skirts and stiff blouses. It was an interesting piece of odd nostalgia. A look back into a time of what looked like female oppression, and a backwards mentality.

When I finally got the chance to read the information on the sign, it turns out that this era was much more progressive than you would think. Ostensibly, the Chautauqua could be considered the first artist commune. Before radio and television, this is where performers of all kinds got their chops. It also created teaching jobs for artists and nature enthusiasts. They used the Chautauqua circuit to spread new ideas around and to create an audience for their expression. I’m absolutely fascinated with this idea. So fascinated, in fact, that when I start my own intentional artist community, that’s the name that I’m going to use.

Do you think we could use a revival of the Chautauqua?

Have you been Shpongled lately?

Hey there art kids! I’m sorry to interrupt you while you’re smoking marijuana behind the dumpsters during fourth period (don’t worry, I’m not a police officer), or painting your nails black in gym class (I’m also not your gym teacher). But I am a super inspired lady, and I have some super awesome stuff to share with you! First off, I’d like to share that I went and saw Shpongle in Denver last night and would highly recommend catching that show if it’s ever in your area, and you’re in need of some social and musical inspiration. If dancing to futuristic eastern inspired trance music with a bunch of 16-25 year olds (still my demographic!) isn’t the most inspiring thing you can do on a Saturday night, well, then I don’t know what is.

I walk up to the theater and see tons of people dressed in playful festie gear and homemade costumes. And they’re practically buzzing with energy. They wander in and out of the theater, catching a little bit of Phutureprimitive, and then coming back out to talk about how amazing it is to their friends smoking outside. I get in just in time to see some Phutureprimitive and was really impressed. I’ll come back to this time and again, but the good energy in the venue was palpable even before Shpongle began. It’s no wonder why, when the sheet drops, it reveals what I can only describe as a giant futuristic throne. The king of positive creative energy, Simon Posford, A.K.A. Hallucinogen appears in an opening of the magnificent vessel and starts the show.

After a few moments, I grabbed my phone and started writing down all of the thoughts I was having about the people, the show, and the world at large. I looked around the venue and realized why I was feeling so inspired. The music, lighting design and the fans are all such an amalgamation of pure creative energy. I put the phone back in my pocket and danced the night away. When I got home, the stories kept coming. It was incredible how much of a muse that collective of people, music and lights became for me.

If you need a creative boost, I’d suggest catching Shpongle if they’re anywhere near you. Otherwise, check them out on Spotify.

Have you been Shpongled?

Everyone has that person in their life, the person who thinks it’s their duty to make April fools day “hilarious”. They take things into their own hands and they put things into your shoes. They rig the sink to soak you for the fourth year in a row. Perhaps you’re this person. Maybe you’re the joker who methodically emptied all of the eggs in the fridge and left only the shells. Don’t you realize that April fools pranks don’t have to alienate you from your loved ones? Pranks don’t have to be just for high school seniors either. You can join in on the fun without pushing your friends and family members away for the rest of the spring.

Funny Food

There are plenty of good natured April fools jokes that you can pull on your pals that are creative and fun for everyone. My favorite this year is the colored food thing. Green eggs and ham, tiny breakfast, blue milk… All fantastical.

Wha?ter

Apparently, I’m really into dying things different colors this year. I found a super easy prank that will bring joy and delight to even the most humbug fool. You can change the color of the water that comes out of their faucet for a short lived, and shocking joke. How amazing is that? I think it would be fantastic to do a different color in every sink in the house.

All you have to do is unscrew the cap of the faucet and place non-toxic colored dye pellets (you can get them from Crayola) in the cap. Then you screw it back on and hide in the shower with a video camera. The color burst won’t last for a very long time, so nobody will get annoyed when they can’t wash their hands for the next several months.

What pranks are you pulling this year?

I’ve been in this for a few weeks now, and I’m smack dab in the middle of becoming a certified yoga teacher (boo to the yah). I’m still pretty shocked to walk outside of the gym/ yoga studio I’m training at and having the wave of marijuana tinged Denver air just wash over me. I’m also still pretty shocked at how much street art there is in these streets. It seems to cover at least one building on each block and all of it is gorgeous.

I do know that the art from behind the studio that we study at is just covered in street art (otherwise known as graffiti by a crotchetier generation). It’s really cool stuff and lends a super lovely atmosphere to what would otherwise be a baron parking lot.

I’m staying up near five corners and I took a little walk around the area to check out what I could find in the neighborhood. Check it out…

I’ll admit that I know absolutely nothing about the Denver street art scene or who’s responsible for these sweet little art bombs, but I’d love to know if anyone has insight into what it’s all about. Also, I’m thinking about getting a tat while I’m in town. Anyone know any good tattoo artists in this city?

Do you have any Denver street art to share? Are you a street artist from Denver, or any other city for that matter?

 Do you have an appreciation for do-it-yourself art pieces, but find yourself being not very artsy? Do you want to see what it would look like if crayons could cry? This is a perfect project with lovely results anyone would be proud to hang on their wall.  

Supplies- You’ll need a canvas, hot glue gun, glue sticks,  hair dryer, and obviously hella crayons.

Next, take the labels off the crayons, you can choose any color you want. Line them up along the top of the canvas, gluing them in place until you run out of space.

Next, take your hair-dryer and start blow-drying the crayons. There isn’t much to technique here, just play around with it seeing the different patterns and results you can get.

The result? A great piece of art you can tell everyone you made yourself, or a great gift for someone you care about. Having this hanging in your apartment will help you solidify your creative, alternative lifestyle. Perhaps next you can start eating all organic food like you’ve been meaning too. Go here to get started on that.

Not only is the results awesome, you get to have fun making it. It’s a perfect way to class up your place, and also give you something more productive to do on a Tuesday afternoon than binge drink gin with the homeless guy who lives in the dumpster behind your building. Heck, maybe you could give it to him and he can hang it up on the trashcan he eats from, giving his ally just enough class to invite the other homeless people in the area over for a dinner party.

There is literally no situation that won’t benefit from the class a bit of crayon art can bring to a space. it’s a great activity to do with friends and family, no matter the age. This is of course you’re not a wax figure that comes to life every night trying to steal the skin of the living, and in that case you’ve probably got enough on your plate to worry about.

Well hopefully not that last one. If there’s something icky and gooey going on in your room, you better be working for an A on a biology project. Unless it’s your roommate’s mess and you’re in a mess cleaning cold war with that person. I totally feel you on that one. Messy roommates… well, they’re just the worst. The… Worst. Who am I kidding? I was always on the messy roommate side of that cold war. It’s just too fun to watch you neat freaks squirm.

Anywho, why not end the war by making your dorm room a little bit cooler and cozier this week. It will help your entire semester run more smoothly on the roommate front. It will help bolster your creativity if you take the time and effort to personalize your digs. Here are some things I found on Apartment Therapy.

DIY

Mirrors will make your dorm room look bigger, but who wants a room full of plain mirrors. This isn’t the victorian era, mirrors aren’t the show stoppers they used to be. So get creative with it. Here are a few DIY Mirror options for your viewing pleasure via Apartment Therapy.

You can use rope to frame a circular mirror if you’re going for a lasso themed thing.

You could frost your favorite silhouette onto any shaped mirror. This seems like a fun project. You could do simple circles in different shapes that look like bubbles.

Orrrr… How about making a sunburst mirror using shims? If you want something more colorful, you could paint the shims in whatever hues you think would say “inner peace” to your cranky roomie.

Hidden Gem

If you don’t have a roommie to make peace with, or you live at home with your parents while you attend one of the best online colleges, then do something for yourself this week.

Take some leftover or sale wallpaper, and line your drawers for a colorful pop. It won’t take but a few minutes of your time and is one of those little details that can bring a little joy to your day when you’re feeling uninspired.

“I always paint drunk. Now that I don’t do opiates or pain killers anymore, I always paint and drink.” -an artist I talked to once

I know that that sounds like really awful and shoddy advice. But is it? A ton of artists are notorious drinkers. As far as writers are concerned Hemmingway, Poe, Hunter Thompson, Tennessee Williams, Oscar Wilde, Jack Karoac, William Faulkner, and Charles Bukowski all fall under the drink and create tent.

What about musicians? Dean Martin, Courtney Love, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, the entire band of Led Zepplin, Marvin Gaye, Elton John, Ozzy Osborne, and Janis Joplin are all notable drunken creators.

How about artists? Well, Van Gough, Jackson Pollock… okay, now we’re too drunk to make lists.

Now, I’m not saying that this is the desirable state. Booze can cause all sorts of problems. Those problems range from harmless to out of control, namely, panty dropping, beer goggles, and crappy list making skills.

But it seems like there is a correlation between artists and booze, does it not? Even though those two may not go hand in hand, they at least go head to head every now and again.

“I would like to drink my desert.” -that same artist

Okay, so now that we’ve gotten this far in this post about booze and artists, I’ll admit that the inspiration for this post about booze and art came from several over dinner tonight. I’ve got a little buzz and it made me wonder about the connection between drinking and art.

This isn’t art. This is a blog. But I kinda wanted to to a little experiment. I wanted to see what it was like to be aware of the connection and set my brain free whilst I got my drink on.

So, here I will write a drunken poem:

It’s a haiku, yes.

Drunk haikus are the best.

I drink. I write. Yes.

So what do you think? Do I deserve a haiku Pulitzer for that alcohol inspired poem? 

Now that I’ve whored myself out in order to continue to consider myself an artist, I can finally kick the coffee. That’s right. It’s good. And it kinda sucks. Well, not really. As you can see, I have really strong feelings about this. In one hand, coffee has always helped me create. It’s been my friend, lover and crutch. I saw it as a romantic thing. Coffee and art on Sunday mornings make the entire week worth living.

On the other hand, I’m kinda sick of being dependent on stuff. It’s annoying that I have to head to the coffee shop and spend at least three bucks to get my fix every single day. Otherwise, you get struck with those insurmountable caffeine headaches. I never really noticed them in the past, because I never skipped my daily dose of caffeine. But when I was told that I wouldn’t be able to ingest caffeine for the month of March, I figured, why not just kick it now? No big deal. It’ll save me some cash. It’ll help me kick the jitters (not good for drawing straight lines). I won’t be kept up all night wondering why, oh why, on gods green earth, did I drink a cup of coffee at 8 p.m.

It’s been three days without coffee, and I won’t lie to you and say that the last few days have been easy. I was cripplingly tired on Weds. I fell asleep in the middle of the day for several hours. I tried to apply for some easy scholarships, but that was a no go as well. Thursday I was struck with the craziest headaches that made me want to take a drill to my brain. But today, I woke up filled with natural energy after (gasp!) eight hours of sleep. When I got up, I was flooded with all of this inspiration. My day has really been flowing smoothly and filled with creative energy.

Do you make art without coffee? Are you trying to kick the habit?

A friend of mine once said that comic books were the most amazing populist art. How else could a person buy at least fifty pieces of art for a couple of bucks? It really made me appreciate how awesome comic books truly are, but it also took me out of the writer’s mindset to realize that comic books are mostly art (gasp!). Only a writer could miss something that’s so obvious. I can hear the resounding “DUH!” coming through the screen even as I write this.

Personally, when I think of comic books, I think of Superman and Spiderman. That style of comic book art never really seemed very “artsy” to me. Now I think that’s a pretty poor attitude when it comes to comic books. Not only do those styles have their own artistic merit, they’re not the only graphic styles in the world of comic books.

It seems that the older I get, the more serious and beautiful the art in comic books  gets. When I picked up Habibi by Craig Thompson, I was taken aback by how intricate every single page was. The artwork was exotic and delicate. It made every page seem as ornate as the Taj Mahal and it made every image so captivating that I’m not sure I’ll ever make it through the entire thing.

Watchmen was one of the first graphic novels (the grownup term for comic books) I had ever read, and looking over it again to notice the artwork seemed to make it a much more intricate story. The first time I read it, I must have taken the images at face value, like they were just there to serve the story. I realize this time that the images are the story. The color palette in Watchmen set this beautiful tone and cohesiveness.

This image from Black Hole by Charles Burnes is a great example of how artful comic books are. This comic is pure black and white genius. The images completely make the story. They’re so grotesque and unsettling that you can’t help but become engrossed in the artful and uncomfortable nature of the story.

What are your favorite artsy comic books?